Saint Therese Parish Events Religious Education Gate of Heaven

Before we can celebrate the Marriage Rite of the Catholic Church, we must first know if you are free to marry according to the laws of marriage in the Catholic Church.

Conditions which could delay or prohibit marriage are:

A previous marriage which ended in divorce.
Cohabitation (living together in the same dwelling) prior to marriage.
Inactive practice of the Catholic Faith.
Public scandal or past behavior which would cause doubt about the
sacredness and holiness of the Sacrament of Marriage.

It is possible to reconcile any of these problems with time.

However, no date can be set until we are assured that at

the time of marriage you have complete freedom to marry.

In the case of a mixed marriage (marriage of a Catholic and non-Catholic) the Catholic party must agree to the following:

To remain faithful to the Catholic Church.
To do all in his/her power to insure the Catholic baptism and upbringing
of any children.
Both parties must receive instruction about the purposes and essential properties of marriage.

Lack of agreement to these conditions would prohibit
marriage in the Catholic Church.

You may check to see when openings are available for hall rental, bands, and so on, but do not set a date with them until we have finalized a date for the wedding. This will alleviate much trouble which could potentially result from booking a hall only to find that the church is not available for such a date. It is strongly recommended that you have possible dates ready and we can check them against our calendar.

Documents and information you will need as you begin to prepare for
marriage in the Church:

A recent baptismal certificate from each of you (dated within the last six months). Contact the church in which you were baptized to obtain this. Catholics must have all previous sacraments received noted on the baptismal certificate including the date and place of reception.
The full names of your parents, including your mother’s maiden name, and their religious affiliation.
If you are related, you must know how closely you are so related.
If you were previously married, you must provide a copy of the divorce decree, and a declaration of nullity if an annulment was granted by the Catholic Church.

Preparations for Holy Matrimony

Dear Engaged Couple,

Congratulations on your engagement, and may the Holy Spirit guide you through these months of preparation.

You have asked to celebrate the Sacrament of Marriage within the parish community of Saint Therese. Keeping in mind the saying, “A wedding is for a day; but a marriage is for a lifetime,” we will do our best to prepare you for your wedding day and for the lifetime of marriage that is before you.

There are two important aspects to your preparation: one, the immediate planning of your wedding day, and two, the lifelong union of your marriage from the moment you walk out of church. While you may be consumed with details regarding the wedding day, we ask that you use the time of marriage preparation well, strengthening your relationship with each other, with God, and with the Church so that your marriage and family life will be happy and fruitful.

Included in our booklet are wedding guidelines and policies we follow regarding preparation for the Sacrament of Marriage. You should read through them thoroughly before your first meeting and make a note of any questions you may have. Also included is a special pastoral letter regarding cohabitation before marriage emphasizing how cohabitation changes the nature of your preparation and the way in which the wedding is celebrated in church.

The last part of our booklet concerns guidelines for the selection of music. Please make a note of any questions you might have and bring them with you to our first meeting.

God bless both of you. We look forward to working with you in the months ahead!

Sincerely,

Rev. Joseph Albert

A Letter from the Pastor

Some Considerations Regarding Your Wedding

When you first contact the parish, you may inquire about the availability of a particular date and time. However, no wedding date will be entered into the calendar until your freedom to marry has been ascertained.

There are times when the preparation for marriage cannot be handled within the parish where the wedding is to take place. In these cases, the pastor will guide you in making alternate arrangements for the completion of your preparation.

It is a sad fact that in some cases a couple will attempt to deceive the pastor as to the fact of their co-habitation and other pre-marital sexual behavior. This includes giving the address and phone number of their parents or friends home. Because each individual is under oath when they fill out the pre-marital questionnaire which asks for their place of residence, such a deception is a grave matter and may therefore affect the nature of the wedding celebration.

In accordance with the norms established by the bishops of the state of Wisconsin, all preparation should be completed at least six weeks prior to the wedding day.

The current fee to be paid to St. Therese Parish for your marriage preparation and wedding is $235.00 for registered parishioners or $335.00 for non-parishioners. Please note that this does not include the fees to be paid for the “Married Love” program or the NFP program.

The practice of the bride and groom not seeing each other until she walks down the aisle is being called into question. Like many other customs, it goes back to an earlier day. In this case, to a time when parents arranged marriages and occasionally a switch was made (Genesis 29:25) in the favor of an older, unmarried daughter; hence the need for a veil and taking the precaution that the groom should not see the bride until after the vows were exchanged. Today, we suggest some time together in prayer, before the ceremony or greeting the guests as they come in.

Since marriage is a joining of two families, this could be expressed in the seating arrangement. Once the immediate family is seated, all others could be seated regardless of family ties.

Preparing for the Sacrament of Marriage

Marriage Preparation assists you in understanding the “purposes and essential properties of marriage” as understood and taught by the Catholic Church. This means that, to the best of our ability, we will look at your intellectual, psychological, and spiritual readiness to undertake the vocation of marriage.

We use the following steps to accomplish this:

Schedule an appointment to see the pastor with the parish office. This should be done as soon as you and your intended spouse have made the decision to marry… at least six months and preferably twelve months prior to marriage.

At this meeting you and the priest will discuss your intentions and fill out the M-A form. This form in an information sheet containing all of the necessary data needed to begin your marriage preparation. (If the priest is unfamiliar with you, you may be asked to have a M-B form filled out as well by someone who knows you well, such as your parents, if possible. (This is done as an interview by a cleric who signs the form to validate the information.)

The second step is an appointment to complete the Pre-Marriage Inventory (FOCCUS). This inventory is an instrument used to create a profile of your current readiness for marriage. This profile will help you to see where you are already strong in your readiness for marriage with your intended spouse, and it points out areas that may be a weakness for you which can be strengthened before you begin your married life. Please call the Religious Education Office at 715-359-2421 or email mike@sttheresecc.org to set up a time to take the FOCCUS.

The third step is to review the inventory with one of our trained couples. Help and suggestions are given to strengthen your relationship and help you to prepare better for marriage.

The fourth step is to attend a session of “Married Love: Two becoming One.” Please contact Karla and Paul Putnam at putnam.paul@yahoo.com for schedule information and to sign up. You will be with several couples preparing for marriage. In this program, presentations are given on specific topics concerning marriage and family life. Upon completion, you will be given a certificate which must be turned into the parish office. If you are unable to attend the program in our area, there are other opportunities in Steven’s Point, Marshfield, or Wisconsin Rapids areas. For a complete listing of dates and times, please click the following link: Married Love: Two Becoming One Schedule of Offerings.

The fifth step is to enroll for instruction in Natural Family Planning (NFP). This is to help you understand and put into practice the only approved form of family planning in the Catholic Church. This can be accomplished by attending sessions at St. Clare’s Hospital, taking classes online, or by completing a home study course. For more information, please check out the diocesan NFP website.

In the Sixth step, we come to the actual planning of the Rite of Marriage. Using the planning book you will receive for the form of the wedding service you will have, begin jotting down ideas for songs, readings, and other plans for your ceremony in the spaces provided. For information on choosing your music, please see the section entitled “Wedding Music Guidelines” in this booklet. You should submit a copy of all of your selection and planning forms to the pastor at least two weeks before the wedding for him to review.

About 3-4 days before your wedding date, Father Albert would like to meet with the bride and groom one more time for some pastoral guidance. Please schedule this well in advance.

The next step is the wedding rehearsal. All couples, together with their wedding party and any assisting ministers (readers, ushers, etc.) must meet with the presider to rehearse the wedding liturgy. This is usually done the evening before the wedding, or at some other time that is convenient to the party and the presider. A rehearsal is very important because it answers many questions, helps alleviate any stress, and insures smooth execution of any and all actions. This rehearsal time is not for music practice, although musicians may be there. If a priest or deacon from outside the parish will be presiding, it is presumed that he will also be present for the wedding rehearsal. Rehearsals should be concise and less than an hour long. At your request, Father would be happy to offer the opportunity for the Sacrament of Reconciliation following the rehearsal. Since rehearsal takes place in Church, we would expect everyone to be properly attired.

Finally, we have the wedding liturgy. After much preparation we wish you all the best as you enter into a lifelong covenant with your spouse.

The last step is that you attend a marriage enrichment seminar at some point during your first year of marriage. For a schedule of offerings, please visit: The Diocese of La Crosse Marriage Enrichment Page or contact the Diocesan Office of Family Life at 1-608-791-2673. Every marriage needs a little enrichment from time to time and we are blessed to have several wonderful opportunities in our diocese each year.